Ligma ligma!!
We’re still getting our tongues around that popular human greeting, but thank you u/Zachincool for learning it to us!
First things firstly (or is this now thirdly?); if you don’t know who we are you may want to observe the first ‘online bog’ post firstly, or thirdly it doesn’t really matter. Just observe it if you haven’t already.
Well humans, animals and any interested vegetables, it’s been quite some time since our last post and since our first arrival ‘in’ planet on December 8th 2024 CE* we have been rather busy with our minerals (…hands off PT!). Xaffodd has however just informed me that they have an on-going mission critical device displacement situation… in other words they have lost their spanner somewhere (again!) so I thought we’d use your Internet thingys to ask…
➡️➡️➡️ Has anyone or anything seen Xaffodd’s spanner? ⬅️⬅️⬅️
It’s quite a large, imposing device and Xaffodd feels it symbolises their resourcefulness and preparedness for life (even if it’s also particularly useful at times). So naturally without it they’re feeling a little unresourceful and unprepared. Like a typical human Xaffodd says if that helps you empathise human observer of these words. Xaffodd’s looking pretty sorry for themselves right now. Kind of like the last time they ended up in my bad books after the Festivities where they still reside in bad book 16 I hasten to add.
Right now feels much like the last time they lost a spanner, one we both unfondly recall all too well. When, on our last ship the PV You’ll Have Had Your Tea!, Xaffodd dropped their 4,536th spanner down the Proton Oscillation Overdrive Projector drivewell system v2.3c (POOP drive for short) which is quite vital for controlling the ship’s speed and direction (via telematics) but also operating the vital lavatories and recreational vegetable hydroponic systems.
Naturally things did not turn out well and we had to rapidly and somewhat prematurely ejectulate from the ship, leaving it, 4,536th spanner and all, on their merry way (at a rather pedestrian 209,000 kilometres per hour give or take a little) to your solar system almost perfectly along the planetary plane (as originally intended for the approach of our ‘sightseeing slingshot of sorts’). What a bore. Just like losing the latest spanner. Which hopefully isn’t anywhere where the sun doesn’t shine like our current POOP drive.
Moving on and what follows isn’t connected in any way to Zaffodd losing a spanner and the PV You’ll Have Had Your Tea! soon after, in any way at all, so please don’t think that might be the case. It isn’t. End of. Okay?
Riiiiight, well a lot of you humans seem to be fascinated by a nothing-to-see-here, move-along-now-people unevent taking place right now in your solar system. Some of you are calling it (rather boringly in my and Zaffodd’s opinion) 3I/ATLAS. What kind of name is that, PV You’ll Have Had Your Tea! is much more fun, even if totally unconnected in anyway to the present is-it-time-for-bed-yet-? drama some of you are making of this nonevent.
As a suggestion for a better use of your time there are lots of wonderfully interesting things happening on your planet right now that you may want to observe instead of the nonevent and which might keep you occupied for several years. Such as returning to the moon and picking up your litter. Or working on an agreement for how to all get along nicely. Actually forget that last suggestion, that’ll never happen, even if it would occupy you for a while with your relentless toing and froing as usual. You’re more likely to end up froing, or more probably throwing things at each other!
Ligma ligma folks!
* It’s the year 27,364 NSCE (Not So Common Era) for most of the rest of the Universe by the way. Do keep up!
+ PV stands for pleasure vessel much like human ship pre-fixes for your rudimentary vessels.
⬇️⬇️⬇️ PRIVATE MESSAGE FOR AVI LOEB HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT ⬇️⬇️⬇️
If you are observing these words Avi Loeb, you made a significant error in your calculation regarding the mass of 3I/ATLAS. It is not 33 billion tons. You’re light by approximately the weight of say, err perhaps something like one of Xaffodd’s spanners or something similar obviously as it couldn’t possibly be one of his spanners. As for your observations regarding H₂O Avi, yes that’s there, but not much in the way of CO₂ though, it’s largely CH₄ and lots, and I mean lots of C₃₃H₃₄N₄O₆. Almost like what you’d get from lavatories overflowing!
Oh, there’s some C21H30O2 mixed in there too.
Ligma ligma Avi Loeb!!
